Friday, September 2, 2011

Market Street Waterworld

The 2500 block of Market Street is afloat with water, due to the flocking of mermaids into their underground caves for winter hibernation.

Beware that the street may be dangerous to drive on. Should you find any lost mermaids, please call the City of Oakland Mythology Patrol. Any stray mermaids and sirens will be returned to the wild, so that they can attempt re-flocking.

The mermaid caves are under the San Pablo Avenue - Market Street crossroads. This accounts for many uncanny phenomena seen in that area.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

If you miss this, you're crazy

The West Oakland Neighborhood Fair is on Saturday May 7th from 1 to 4 PM at St. Vincent de Paul Community Center, San Pablo Avenue at West Grand Avenue.

Why you need to be there: our amazing, enterprising, creative, rocking neighbors have sought and received over $350 000 for revitalization and beautification projects for our neighborhood, and you can learn all about them and how you can become involved!

• $73,000. West Oakland Green Initiative will plant trees along San Pablo
Avenue and in the surrounding areas.
• $75,000. The San Pablo Corridor Coalition will renovate St. Andrew’s Plaza.
• $75,000. Oakland Public Works will install motion activated devices with
24/7 monitoring against illegal dumping.
• $75,000. Attitudinal Healing will paint beautiful murals along the I-580
underpass between San Pablo Avenue and Martin Luther King, Junior Way
• $5,000. Keep Oakland Beautiful will enhance San Pablo Avenue.
• $50,000. The Crucible will get a new entry and facade improvements
• EBALDC’s progress in the revitalization of California Hotel.

Did you see that?! They are going to start monitoring the trash dumping in our neighborhood! Those idiots are finally going to be getting in trouble, without our neighbor Randy having to drive around after them to scare them!

So really: if you ever thought about becoming more active about neighborhood stuff and wondered who the people are who are doing all the moving and shaking, this is your time! You can become one of them! And you may start getting invited to those fabulous secret cocktail parties you may have been hearing about!

Most importantly, if you come to the Neighborhood Fair you will see what beautiful, fun, caring, sweet, fantastic people you share a neighborhood with.

...aaand we're back!

After some contemplation (and being completely submerged under the renovation of the awesome West Oakland fixer-upper we bought in November) The Myrtle Street Review is back!

We're no longer on Myrtle Street physically, but our hearts still are. Our Myrtle Street neighbors are the reason we fell in love with West Oakland and decided to put down roots here. So the blog name is going to stay the same. We're only three blocks away in any case, and can still see the roof deck of our old loft from here.

The focus of the Review is going to shift a little more towards being about things that are happening and being done in the neighborhood... though I expect the occasional fictional story and other whimsical crap will still seep in because magic is magic, and what can you do.

Welcome back!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Myrtle Street Review is Molting

Dear Readers, the Myrtle Street Review Headquarters has moved. We are no longer on Myrtle Street, and presently the Review is inside our thinking hat. We are working out what shape and form the Review should take next. Thank you for reading, and we'll see you in the New Year!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Celebrating Nordic Family Values: The Woolen Penis Movie

It's been a while since we celebrated my Nordic heritage here on Myrtle Street Review. It's time to watch some Swedish art, I feel, since I am practically part Swedish, being a descendant of Vikings who settled in Western Finland. Wait, does that make me part Norwegian? Never mind. Almost any reason would be reason enough to pay homage to the Flying Woolen Penises of Sweden. The rest of the baffling, fabulous output of Amauta Labs can be found here.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Top Five Reasons Why West Oakland's image is More Dangerous than the Reality

5. Teenagers who are actually not gang members get to act like big, dangerous thugs for being from there. Or even from near there. Or even from El Cerrito.

4. There are several Whitey Castles, ie. loft compounds with locking gates whose inhabitants never leave the confines of their castles on foot, believe their San Francisco friends about the terrifying things that happen "out in the ghetto" (direct quote from inside castle walls), and then repeat it as if it's the whole truth and nothing but the truth. And thank God for those gates. Except OH MY GOD THE GHETTO PEOPLE CAN CLIMB OVER THE WALLS! As we speak, the building of a moat and the installation of vats for boiling oil is being discussed on at least one Whitey Castle email list.

3. It's vital to the self-identity of the Burner Art Geek Man-Boys that they live in an Extremely Dangerous Urban Mad Max Wasteland, and the Self-Identity Protection Shield they have built from steampunk recycled metal parts prevents them from seeing the working class and middle class families and schools and churches.

2. It's vital to the self-identity of the Other Burner Art Geek Man-Boys who don't live in Oakland that their monthly trip to the Crucible is a Big, Dangerous Deal.

1. It's vital to the petit bourgeois sensibility of people who spend 75% of their income on crappy real estate in San Francisco that all of Oakland, but especially West Oakland where their much cooler Burner Art Geek Man-Boy software company colleagues live for about 25% of the cost, is a dangerous, ugly, scary hellhole where only idiots and criminals can possibly live. It's NOT cool! No way! It can't be cool because they are paying SO MUCH MORE to live in The Mission.

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