Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Pigeon Attractor Migrates

The pigeon attractor has been moved from its location to an undisclosed place after giant, swirling, funnel-shaped pigeon clouds darkened the skies, caused electrical blackouts, spiritual disturbances and political discomfort. Many people claimed to feel an odd ringing sensation in their tooth fillings, and some insisted they saw Jesus in the cloud of pigeons. This was not only reported by religious people; the pigeons were in fact exhibiting hive mind-like behavior and forming patterns representing images of Jesus, Marx, Engels, Freud, King, Obama, Guevara, and inexplicably, Jerry Brown and Richard Nixon. People didn't really freak out until Nixon. At that point, bypassers on Highway 80 alerted radio stations, and the media attention in turn out distressed residents, workers at CASS metals, members of the political class and police. The pigeon attractor was removed in the dead of night by unknown individuals.

The pied pipered pigeons have followed the pigeon attractor, and you may have noticed fewer birds in general in West Oakland.

We suspect the birds as well as the device are in Berkeley.

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