Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Our block is a popular blowjob destination, possibly an unfortunate side effect of our lovely, shade-providing trees. I'm no prude, and I can appreciate that a professionally administered blowjob can be a wonderful stress reliever and provide many other benefits that science will shortly discover.
But can y'all go somewhere else to do it? I'm tired of seeing it! Once you've seen six or seven blowjobs taking place in a different vehicles, you pretty much don't need more variation than that. It's not that special.
Almost every house on this block has kids, too. And a lot of our windows are high enough up that your lunch hour blowjobs are very VERY much visible to our kids, should they happen to glance out the window. I don't think it necessarily causes irreversible damage to them, but I'd still rather not have commercial sex be something they are actually watching happen at, like, age eight. You know what I mean?
If you think this kind of thing is fine for kids to see, do it in front of your own kids. And if you don't think it's annoying to have it happen in front of your house, do it in front of your own house!
And since that is probably not a realistic option, would you please just pick a block in West Oakland that's industrial, as opposed to residential? It's not like it's hard to find, you know. It's not any harder than finding a prostitute.
All blowjob aficionados that we see on our block are photographed, and from now on the photographs will be published here and license plate numbers will be provided upon request.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Some potholes near the Myrtle Street Review Headquarters have turned into magical portals, with messages from the Netherworld.
Extreme caution is advised around the portals, as the vortex may still be functioning and may suck unsuspecting bystanders into magical realms. Or push otherworldly entities into ours.
The Myrtle Street Review strongly advises that everyone just do as we are told by the netherworld people.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Several people asked for the recipe for the strawberry dessert I made for the block party, so here goes. It's based on a lavender honey recipe I learned from my dad, and on an Italian-style dessert my mom makes every summer.
dried or fresh lavender flowers
2-3 pints strawberries
1 pint heavy whipping cream
2-3 tbsp sugar
1 drop vanilla essence
5 oz meringues (Size and shape is irrelevant, as these will be crumbled. I used a package of Spaan's vanilla meringue cookies from Whole Foods this time, but I prefer to use the amazing meringues geantes made by Siew-Chinn Chin for the Pop Up General Store - they are magnificent.)
Start in the morning or the day before by infusing your honey with lavender. I usually buy a squeeze bottle of good, runny honey and add 2-3 tbsp dried lavender flowers to it and just let it sit. I don't strain the flowers out, they add a fun bitter note if some end up in the dessert. I infuse a whole bottle at a time, because lavender honey is good to have around for various applications, like making salad dressings and putting on ice cream. But you could just do a smaller amount.
When it's time to make the dessert, cut your strawberries into halves or quarters, depending on size, and discard the greenery. Leave 5-6 strawberries whole, for decoration. Beat the cream in a mixer or by hand into a nice, fluffy, reasonably solid whipped cream, adding the sugar and vanilla essence to it towards the end.
Put about 1/4 of your total strawberries in the bottom of a large serving bowl. Drizzle with 2-3 tbsp lavender honey. Crumble about 1/4 of your total meringue on top of this. Then ladle in about 1/4 of your total whipped cream. Keep layering like this until you finish with whipped cream. Garnish with whole strawberries and drizzle a little bit more honey on top.
The lavender honey may feel like a cumbersome extra step, but it really adds something special to the dish. An unexpected and refined kind of note.
Serve with good, strong coffee.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Winners of this year's People's Award, given for general awesomeness by John and Sussu, People, are here: Alex and Christopher.
They are our neighbors and this is why we love them:
They planted trees and other plants up and down our block, making our urban environment healthier and more beautiful. They water and care for the trees and plants, making sure they get a great start.
They make sure our block is cleaner and more secure.
They have beautiful smiles and they are generous with them.
They have made two houses beautiful on our block.
They offer friendship, support and advise to all who ask and need it.
They build relationships with the Oakland Police Officers who come to our block and make them feel welcome.
They brought us new lovely neighbors.
They have great style.
They are the kind of neighbors anyone would be extremely lucky to have and WE GET TO HAVE THEM.
Thank you Alex and Christopher for everything beautiful you do, and for the neighborly friendship, energy, creativity and positivity you so generously share.
This year's National Night Out Block Party on our block was insanely cool. It was rather like the unbelievable ending of a cheesy Hollywood movie where all the neighbors show up and start singing and dancing, and somehow they are all ridiculously talented and put on a world class show and you're watching the movie and you think, yeah. Like that would ever happen in reality.
Except last night IT DID. All I had to do was step outside my door and there was a stage, and sound system, and pretty soon really unbelievable things were happening on that stage! Singing by massively talented ladies. MC:ing by massively talented gentlemen. Spoken word poetry that was real and powerful and moving. Prayers that were heartfelt and uplifting. Praise dancing that was moving and beautiful. Jessi and Eddie showed up again to do their fabulous fire hooping and fire spinning. It was electrifying all around.
There was lots of great food, too, and the requisite bouncy house and cotton candy and popcorn, and lots of smiling friendly people spreading positive vibrations.
I've lived in lots of places, but this is the first time in my life that I feel that I have real neighbors.
Thank you Tony, Alex, Christopher, John, and David, for doing the heavy lifting this year and producing an event that was even cooler than last year's! I think we are on a roll. I think we are changing the world: one corner of it at a time.
Love is in the air.